Recently I read a lot of posts about Toxic Relationships and I decided to share my story. I’m going to cut off a lot to make the reading go faster .
2013 : We were both working in another country for the same job and the same company . In the beginning we
weren’t really hanging out so much but then we started to hang out more and more. One night we went out with other friends, with people that like us were working there from all over the Country.
It was December 2013 when we went to swim in late afternoon while the others were listening to the music. He tried to kiss me more then one time but I didn’t want it to happen . I explained that we couldn’t because we were working for the same company! Then I gave up and we Kissed.
After that kiss we have been inseparable . Our friends were looking at us and commenting ” You two love birds…you two are a perfect match…you two are so cute ”
I was happy. I really was.
Shortly after that First Kiss we moved in together. I was truly enjoying living with my boyfriend.
Unfortunately things didn’t go that well
1 ) Anytime he was talking with his ex wife because they were fighting over the child he was going outside with the excuse ” Honey I don’t want involve you in this ” ( After a few months I knew something wasn’t truly right but I was so in love that I was letting it go.
2 ) He started to use drugs. All kinds and heavy drugs ( He told me he had a problem years ago but that was long gone…I guess It wasn’t) . You have no idea how much it hurts when your boyfriend in the middle of the night tells you ” I need cocaine! I need it now! Do you still have the cash with you?” ( And yes, I gave the money while my heart was aching because he left the house to walk over the place in which he could get the drugs. I guess I didn’t understand since I had never touched drugs and he knew and he didn’t want me to )
3 ) From drinking beers on the Beach everyday after work he started with heavy alcohol such us Captain Morgan and others. Before I knew he was drunk.
4) He became obsessive-jealous. I had to set the timer anytime I was walking towards the store or towards the bus stop , so he knew exactly how long it would have taken to me. Of course he was calling if I wasn’t at home at a certain time because he knew the math : to walk ove the oxxo it takes 6 minutes + 6 minutes to come back = 12 minutes + 8 minutes to get what I wanted . Total 20 minutes.
5 ) He convinced me that I had a sleeping problem and sleep amnesia , so I went to see a doctor that prescribed me medications. Strangely my medications were disappearing and once I decided to hide them , my boyfriend turn into a monster.
I didn’t have any sleeping problem … He was also addicted to prescription pills and he was using me to get them!
6 ) He started to Bite me and leave bruises on my body. Anytime I had a new bruise and I was explaining to him that the reason was because he was biting he was denying it. I ended up going to work in 90 degrees weather with long jackets. One day was so hot that I removed my jacket…My co workers saw the bites and from that point they knew…
7) I left the company in which we both were working and started the same job for another company. He was calling and texting me non stop. It was impossible to work in that conditions. Anytime I wouldn’t pick up or answer soon he would start with you are cheating. I always said ” I love you. I would never cheat on you “.
8) In that country we both didn’t have a car. Often, after work someone was nice enough to give me a ride. It wasn’t the same person everyday. Often we carpooled because a lot of us didn’t have a car there. My boyfriend started to accuse me of prostituting and why the majority of people that were giving me rides were men. He was claiming that they liked me and they were hitting on me.
9) Than the punishments started. He used to make me sleep in an another room without blanket or pillow and the portable Ac as a punishment. I was spending nights crying . I wasn’t doing anything wrong beside loving the wrong person.
10) I wasn’t allowed to see or go visit friends because he was too jealous. My social life went from 10 to 0
11) I was always happy and full of life and loved by everyone. I had always a smile on my face and he took that away from me. One day he said ” Why you smile all the time? This has to stop”.
12) I was no longer allowed to videocall with my friends and parents because he thought I was hiding something. I got to the point that I had to videocall my parents and friends when he wasn’t around to keep that little sanity that I had left.
13) He was continuing with drugs and drinks. I remember that at a certain point I was happy when he was smoking marijiuana in the evenings because that ” stuff ” was calming him down.
14 ) One day I really wanted to see my friends . I was lost. Lonely. Scared. I took a taxi and went to my friend’s house ( a married couple ). I didn’t say a word. I was sitting outside on a chair with my arms wrapped around my legs looking at the walls. They knew what was going on. They knew he was taking my beautiful me away.
15 ) There was a fight after a fight and he always ended up kicking me out. Each time I used to prepare my bags and go stay with friends he started ” You are going just because you can do anything you want and cheat on me. Is that what you want eh?! “. I never left. No once.
He kept abusing me for months and I let him. I loved him with all myself until one day…I called one of my closest friends there and he told me ” You need to leave. You need to go home because today is a bruise and tomorrow he will break your leg . I had a severe drug problem years ago and I know what he is doing to you. “
I found a job back at home. Same job I was doing, different company. I was hired over a Skype interview. I got him the job too and he agreed to move to the U.S.
I was going to start earlier so I decided to leave earlier then him so I could find an apartment for both of us while I was at my best friend’s house
16 ) The day I left for the USA, during my layover I received a facebook message from his ex wife that apparently didn’t know about me and found out by mistake about me. She send me snapshots of all their conversations in which he was obviously trying to go back with her. Yeah…on a layover all by myself I had to find that out.
I told him about and he said he was just telling her those things because she wanted to drag him to court for unpaid child supports – that was another news!-
17) While I was in the USA he used to videocall me and keep me on a videocall 8-9 hours straight! I couldn’t even go to the bathroom!!! I missed him, a lot. With all that I loved him.
In my mind , since he was coming two weeks after, coming to the USA would have been better because in my mind he could have stayed away from drugs.
18) He started to videocall me in the middle of the night to check if someone was in the room with me. I had to walk at 3 am…4 am…5 am around the house holding the iPad so he could see while screaming ” Who is there? She has a boyfriend! Have the guts to come out”. Seriously ?! My best friend lives alone with her 10 years old son…I would never take guys over her house as I wouldn’t cheated on him!
19) In the morning he was video calling and screaming even at best friend which was explaining to him to stop because I wasn’t doing nothing beside video calling him.
I was reclused at my best friend house. I didn’t go to see any of my friends. I only left the house to go house hunting for me and him.
20) He was going to work ” high ” and instead that work he was video calling me !!!! He was losing his mind and his job there…
21) Our friends started to text me asking me ” What kind of drugs is he taking???” . He was texting to people in the middle of the night asking if and with who I was cheating while I was there.
22) During the video calls he started to say that the aliens were coming and kidnapping us! He started to ask me if we were into the big brother show and where I was hiding the cameras.
23) He started to blackmail me with naked pics he took of me while I didn’t know!!!!
….And finally before he came to the USA he ended the relationship over a videocall.
I was in a toxic, manipulative and co dependent relationship.
I learned that if someone had an addiction…he will always love that addiction more then he loves you.
I blocked him from anything…Skype, Tango, Instagram, Facebook…you named…I blocked him!
I don’t hate him for what he had done to me because I never forget that long time ago he was the one that made me happy.
It had been over a year since that breakup and I’m happy he broke up with me. I was happy already a few months after with a new job, a new apartment , new co workers and much more.