According to the Doctors I suppose to be on bed rest.

According to the Doctors I suppose to be 8 weeks on No weight bearing.

According to the Doctors I suppose to use crutches since I’m done with the wheelchair.

According to the Doctors I don’t suppose to drive.

Pretty much, my life ended after my Core Decompression Surgery of my right hip. I’m following anything they wanted me to but unfortunately I can’t hire a private or personal driver to take me here and there.

I spent days, hours,minutes locked in between the four walls of my room. After almost 3 weeks my leg feels better , however my bone is still fragile . 

Sometimes I need to escape to monotony, to those four walls and from my bed to keep my sanity and also because I miss the Aviation World a lot. I miss the FOs , the CAPs, the FAs… I miss my study tablet and days at the hangar .

Today I drove for four hours. As usual in the car it was me and Coraline. She is always with me, in my car anywhere I go. 

  
Who is Coraline ? You can see her in the picture. She was a gift from my friend Vanessa for my birthday in 2012. 

I love Coraline. She was the main character of an animated movie that came out in 2009 in which she discovers a secret door, behind which lies an alternate world that closely mirrors her own but, in many ways, is better. She rejoices in her discovery, until Other Mother and the rest of her parallel family try to keep her there forever.

I don’t know why I loved that animated movie so much and I did love that funny looking girl with blue hair that was often wearing a yellow coat. I just did, I just do. Since the day that Vanessa game that doll as a gift, me and her have been inseparable . I received many gifts during my life but my friend gave me something so special that probably at that time, she didn’t know how much that Doll was going to meant to me.

While I was driving my car towards Washington DC , I had the feeling to escape from my troubles and from all the care that my Avn needs. I was slightly sad because by now I should have moved in another city but my leg decided to put an hold on my future. It was an hard drive for my hip which was pretty sore once arrived at the destination. 

I was looking outside while driving and looking at my speed. If I cannot run with my legs, I can run with my car and that foot on the gas pedal went down and down .

  
My eyes often looked on my right side, at my passenger , my shadow…my so hated crutches. I hate them but I need them. It is a complicate love and hate feeling towards those two metal sticks. And while my eyes were on them I was thinking about how much I miss my life, how much I miss traveling around the World, how much I miss hang out with friends, how much I miss my job… I miss aircrafts for sure. I just wanted to run away from anything and anyone. I just want to walk !

  

People that love you can suffer for you but they don’t know how much pain is behind those crutches, how much is my desire to run, go back to workout, go back to ground school. And while those thoughts were crossing my mind I was getting ready for Saturday July 25th…that is also the main reason of this trip. Preparation for something important because not even this illness will stop a strong woman like me from following my dreams and reach my goals.

Oh, if Coraline could talk , she would have so much to say about ” our adventures together ” and I’m just glad to have her. That funny looking Doll that probably remind to me about myself . 

Coraline was looking for a better world … I’m looking for a way to heal and get my life back.

Coraline Jones: How can you walk away from something and then come towards it?

Cat: Walk around the world.

Coraline Jones: Small world.

Here is a trailer…if you never saw it..you can take a look.

http://youtu.be/vlv4yzsmwyI

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