There is a difference in emotionally unavailable men and women. I use those two words a lot, mainly to keep good guys away. The ones that are falling in love with me. Do you know why ? Because I would never fall in love with them, because I enjoy their company and the sex but a WOMAN knows when , with that person, there aren’t any chances of a relationship.

Those are 2 Easy words. What those two words means in a woman ?

1 ) We dated a few men that disappointed us for a reason or another . The trust is completely gone at the point that we no longer trust anything that walks, breath and…has a penis !

2) Because we have been through so much, we are looking for MR. Perfect. That guy that bring us flowers for no reason, that takes us on a getaway, that looks good in a suit or for some women in a uniform, that have a stable job and can afford houses left and right, that buy us gifts for no reason, that doesn’t forget an anniversary, that text us in the morning ” Goodmorning babe. I miss you. Have a great day ” , that keeps texting us during the day, that surprise us, that makes us laugh …

Well.. R E A L I T Y  check : there are 1 in a million of this guys and an emotionally unavailable woman usually won’t get them.

3) … And we always want what or who we CANNOT have. It feels like we have a curse ” The good ones are all taken ” and so we live in that mental state ” I got a curse ” and we are too scared if that guy really wants us.

4 ) NO GUARD DOWN !!! We can’t help. We can’t really be ourself because we won’t let our guard down. We need to protect our heart in any possible way. We won’t let another ” Asshole ” ( Because we assume they are all asshole ) to break our heart. 

5 ) COMMITTMENT PHOBE … Here we go! We cannot commit! We are scared of that status ” boyfriend ” or ” girlfriend ” and even so, we don’t believe the guy will ever ask for that status. Marriage??? Forget that!!! I tell guys I NEVER WANT to get married and that was and it has always been the truth. Just recently I started to admit that I have a ” fear of COMMITTMENT “. 

This past summer my friend Nawal asked me to wear her wedding ring while she was going for a swim into the ocean. At first I didn’t want and she knew why. I did it anyway. That ring felt like it was burning! I’m allergic to anything that can be close to the words engage and marriage.

6) We are H A P P Y on our own. Relationships can be messy and feelings can get hurt. It’s easier to not commit to anyone and focus on yourself.  We have great friends, we have people we sleep with, we have interesting jobs, we are good looking…we GOT IT ALL…minus our willing to commit and give up our slice of independence

7) We Don’t need a MAN. Sure we don’t but deep inside us we want one. We are just too afraid to make that statement to the world and we prefer ” I ‘ m single because I work too much ” ; ” I don’t have time for a relationship” ; ” Dating require too many efforts and time…I don’t have it”. Those are cliche’ phrases that we LOVE to use.

8) THE EX . And we all have an ex that broke our heart. If we were going to find another one, he would need to be better looking that our ex, funnier, with a better job…a GOD . We love the ex revenge and the feeling of ” He is better then my ex ” . 

Growing up I never dreamed of a marriage neither a family. My parents have a perfect relationship. They have been together for 43 years ( Married 36 and engaged 7 ). Even so, My favorite phrase was ” I want to marry my paycheck and travel the World “. I still say that.

If I meet a guy that I like and I’m willing to be part of that stupid “Dating Game ” I always wait for that moment : the moment that they screw up something. It happens anytime. It is inevitable.

I DESERVE … Better! I’ve dated so many guys that today If I need to have a relationship, I want THAT Mr. Right. Why not me? Why can’t I have that dream guy? If he doesn’t exist or if he never comes along then is not a problem…I will keep traveling the world, enjoy life and work and keep being the happy person that I’m.