When your health fails you, you come at the realization that nothing else matter. Not anymore.
Being in pain 24/7 is hard. It would be an hard task for anyone. Some days my mind goes to places where ” it didn’t suppose to go “. I look back, I think about ” Before I had my diagnosis ” and I miss that happy and shiny person full of life that used to smile everyday. I miss the person that used to wake up, turn on the radio and get ready for her day. I miss that person full of energy, creativity and extroverted . I miss myself and I miss my life.
Needles,surgeries,recoveries, physical therapies, X-rays , MRIs , blood works, injections and much more, have drained me. An illness put me in a deep hole. Now I don’t know how to go back to shine. I don’t know how to get my life back. I don’t know how to be strong again.
I cannot live in the past . I cannot live asking ” why is this happened to me? “. That would be simply complicate the situation even more. I have, I should react and instead I’m being passive.
I couldn’t take a bad news now. Not now. I’m exhausted . I’m tired. This is too much to handle even for a strong Woman like me. I just want to cry. I just want to crawl in the bed , under the blankets. When I look at the nurses and the Doctors … I look at them like it is ” normality “. My normality is not longer like the real normality. I’m so tired.
I’m scared of what the future holds for me.
Dear illness…please don’t progress anymore. Dear Life, please start to be very nice with me. Dear Destiny, please send me a lot of Luck.
spicepinkie
Destination Detours 
November 9, 2015 at 4:55 pm
Hi, Spicepinkie, have you considered becoming part of a clinical trial for avascular necrosis? Here is the link to the National Institutes of Health (NIH). https://www.clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/results?term=avascular+necrosis&Search=Search
I hope you feel better!
Virginia
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November 9, 2015 at 5:46 pm
I really appreciate that. I read a little the topics and I saw the details .
I don’t think I’m a right candidate because I had a Cd in July on my right hip and a THR a month ago on my right hip.
On the top of it, the AVN took my job and my apartment away from me and as right now, when I finish Therapy in a week I will have to find a job and a place to live …
…meanwhile sleeping in the car is my only choice
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November 9, 2015 at 9:02 pm
Where are you located? I’m really good at digging up information.
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November 9, 2015 at 9:04 pm
Virginia Beach . VA but I already had a CD and a THR on the same hip . CD in July. THR a month ago. That is why I think I do not qualify
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November 9, 2015 at 9:13 pm
I found some info on support groups: Today, our once-online only ‘ON/AVN Support Group International’ has evolved into the ON/AVN Support Group Int’l Association, Inc. as an official non-profit organization with a membership spanning the globe. We can be reached via the internet at http://osteonecrosisavnsupport.org or by regular U.S. mail at Box 118, 8500 Henry Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19128. All those who are looking for support, comfort, and know-ledge about AVN are welcome to join us.
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November 9, 2015 at 9:18 pm
This is an organization in VA Beach: http://www.ecnv.org/
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November 9, 2015 at 9:20 pm
Virginia Department of Social Services provides financial assistance for basic needs, including housing, energy bills, shelter, food, child care and more. This aid and the government benefits can be provided to those with a disability that meet low income levels. When qualified, grants can be issued for utility bills (as part of EA), SNAP food stamps, and maybe funds for paying rent. Call social services at 1-800-552-3431.
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November 9, 2015 at 10:38 pm
Are u an Angel sent from Heaven?
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